Wheels: Best Invention EVER!

First off, I was just out in Vancouver to do a show for the Arc’teryx sales meeting. The show went well enough considering it was four p.m. on an absolutely stellar day and I was the only thing standing between the reps and freedom! Great to catch up with some old friends too. Anyhow, immediately after the show a plan developed to go do a classic North Shore mountain bike ride. One of those take the car to the top and rip it down rides Vancouver is famous for (I think it was called CBC or something for those who know the area). Arc. had located some hefty but not insanely huge mountain bikes for the outing, and soon we were off. Or not–it turned into a cluster for a couple of hours until the more HDD types eventually lost it and we went blasting off into the woods.

I’ve been a recreational mountain biker for a lot of my life, and sorta thought I knew how to ride. I can bunny hop curbs, and have the scars to prove that I’ve spent time on the trails. But I’ve never ridden a full-suspension bike with six inches of travel or more front and rear, big tires, full-face helmet, etc. And I’ve never even seen a trail like the one in the Vancouver woods, much less ridden anything so totally insanely fun. It was like a legion of gnomes had spent entire lifetimes in the woods building with rocks, trees, and magic. It was a sort of giant Gerbil maze (remember those things?) for humans, all put together with the same painstaking care that I’ve seen in centuries-old German cobblestone roads. The quantity of work is just truly incredible. Put a big, full-suspension bike on that kind of terrain and it’s just mind-blowing what you can ride down. I was giggling within 50 feet, laughing within 100 and screaming like a mental patient  in the throes of a full-fledged hysterical fit within five minutes. And it only got better.

A lot of the fun is in the trail’s construction–there aren’t all that many surprise obstacles to take you out, unlike on more natural trails. The trail is built to be ridden–you have to fall to fail. But the trail is also hard; skinny logs a meter or more above the ground that you have to link up to other logs, all kinds of little ladder systems in the air, just so much fun! It took every thing I knew about riding to keep moving, and I had to unlearn a lot too–the downhill bikes are really laid back, so you can ride much steeper stuff without going over the bars. I kept hitting the brakes and looking down some drop that I probably couldn’t walk up, and then just rolling off… It was full-on, a lot of  “I’m gonna die!!!” moments every few seconds, stellar. And that was before we came to the jumps.

I used to really like jumping my BMX bike, but mountain bikes weren’t tough enough to really huck on so I gave up on that program 25 years ago. Sure, little hops, but not straight off six-foot drops–that would break the bike and me for sure–I’ve broken enough rims to know that… Then I saw our fearless leader huck it, and it was game on. I haven’t had so much fun in years. I’ve never ridden off anything higher than a couple of feet; six feet looked like a pitch of climbing to me, then you huck it and it’s just so nice. I just found a brand new drug…

The only problem is now I need a new bike! And I’m maybe going to have to move to Vancouver. A sunny day there is truly fantastic, a work of art. If the weather were just a little better in winter I’d move there, but I can’t handle the swamp aspect of things in winter. But the biking sure is good, maybe…

Also hit the Grouse Grind with some free time, and a quick bouldering session too. I’m pretty sure you could ride down most of the Grind is all I’ve got to say–my mind sure has been expanded.

Hit the Red Bull X-Fighters on Saturday night in Calgary. This is freestyle motocross competition, meaning Red Bull built a bunch of insane jumps in the bottom of a big stadium and invited the best freestyle motorcycle guys in  the world to come session.  Whoever does the raddest stuff in a minute and a half or so wins. I’ve seen a lot of rad stuff over the years–BASE hucking, kayaking, surfing, climbing, but nothing comes close to what these nut cases can do on a motorcycle. There’s a ton of video out there of the X Fighters, check it out. I’m really glad I didn’t find out about this sport when I was younger, I would have been right into it. Yeah, moto X isn’t the cleanest sport environmentally, but damn is it cool to see someone hanging by their knees from their handlebars 50 feet above the ground while a stadium full of people goes off. A friend said moto X is the most accessible action sport going to the general public, and I agree. Climbing 5.10 or 5.14 all kinda looks the same to the public, but a backflip 50 feet in the air without hanging onto the handlebars? Yeah, that’s harder than a straight jump… 

So here’s to wheels: Best invention ever!